Salvador’s Birth (Pictures to come)
Mariano and I had been lovers for quite some time and we decided we wanted a baby. I was living in Gainesville and knew when I would be ovulating. Mariano was still in Miami. It was the first time I had actually planned a pregnancy. My 4 other babies were just allowed to come when they wanted. I would be ovulating July 3rd. One year exactly after we had a miscarriage, the one we called Lolita. I have a crystal to remember that baby we never had.
I drove down to Miami in my old VW van with a comfy bed in the back. I went to Mariano’s house he shared with Archie in Coconut Grove and we went out, dinner and romancing and we could not make it into the house. We just wanted to make love right then and there; we were in the driveway. I remember looking at him with a knowing…. We just made a baby, I thought. He heard my thoughts.
I moved to Tallahassee in August to do my clinicals for midwifery school and for the first time ever I felt nausea. Never had it with my first 2 babies, though. Ugh! August is very hot in Tallahassee; the air is thick with humidity and the temperatures in the 90s…. I was staying with my preceptor, Shannon, whose house had no A/C. I lived on the couch under the ceiling fan, wishing I could just puke. Because of my financial status, I got WIC. While waiting for my checks, I overheard some nursing students talking and clearly heard, cleft lip and palate. OK, what does this mean? I have heard that term so many times lately that it’s starting to make me think it is a message from the universe that this baby might have a cleft lip and palate. I mean, I would open a textbook and right to the page of a picture of a baby with a cleft lip and palate. Shannon gave me a packet of information about babies and first thing I see is those words. I went to Miami and did some photography printing for a company and the job they gave me was pictures of the surgical repairs of cleft lips and palates. There must have been maybe 6 or 8 different instances of seeing orhearing this. Although not obsessed, it kept me wondering. I have had 2 perfect babies, maybe the odds are that this one could have this birth defect. We’ll see. No ultrasounds for me.
I attended clinic 5 days a week and went to all births; only ever missed one in all that time. Every week I would drive to Gainesville and attend classes as well as see the women who I became very close to. One of them was Tina. Tina, Cathy and I were called the gorgeous trio, as we had incredible hair at that time. Cathy was pregnant as well. A beautiful blessingway was done to honor Cathy and I. Our babies were due a week apart. We were both Pisces as well. I loved Tina and one day as we were talking about what I wanted for a birth experience, I mentioned I wanted an ocean birth.
I knew about water birth, and being the mermaid I am, the idea of having my baby in the ocean was exciting as all could be. Tina, who lives at the beach just north of St Augustine offered her home to us so we could have our baby at the beach. I was ecstatic with the offer; one I will forever be grateful for. Thank you, sweet Tina (nka Christina). Tina’s house was called the Purple House. It was puuuuurple!! As a matter of fact, you could mail her a letter and for the address just put Purple House, North Vilano Beach, Florida. She lived there with Lee and daughter Shannon. On the other side was Annie and Rabbit with their little kids, Gabe and Crystal. 2 families living in the same house although it was more like what we would call a duplex.
From their windows you could see the beach and the ocean. Step out the door and be a part of it. We would visit once in a while during the pregnancy. Tina and Lee, Annie and Rabbit, the kids….. they became like my family. Go to their home and you know you are surrounded by peace and love. I adored them.
Mariano moved to Tallahassee in January and we were due March 26. My son Kristopher was living with me and going to school, so my mom offered to stay with him in Tallahassee while we waited for our baby to be born. Marianito, as we called Mariano’s son, the son in my heart, was also living with us at the time. The 3 of us went to the Purple House 2 days before my due date. I never feared that my baby would be born before getting to their home because my first 2 babies were 8 and 9 days late. I assume this one would be also. I remember hoping it would not be born en route, for this beach birth was the birth of my dreams. And besides I am in la-la land when in labor and really wanted my women-folk to be near me. Unassisted birth was definitely not for me.
My midwifes were Tina and Esther. Esther is my good, good friend, my preceptor and teacher at the school and who lives in Gainesville. She was all for this birth and was on call for me. She had no kids at the time so was able to come as soon as I called her. I kept in touch with her and updated her throughout my pregnancy, and since I was living in Tallahassee, Shannon and I did my prenatal care. So, there is the plan. I go to St Augustine, or Vilano Beach, actually, Esther would come from Gainesville when I go in labor and Mariano and I would just hang with our friends until the baby came.
Mind you, Mariano had just moved to Tallahassee and had found a job, any job, just so we could pay our bills. I was not working since I was in school and my only income was from my house in Miami’s rental. Not much, but we survived. Barely. We went to our destination with what money we had which ended up being spent on groceries. My baby hung in there and our money ran out, so Mariano did some work with Lee to help pay for our stay. I did windows. Hehe. That was one thing about being there; not being able to pay more for our stay and on top of that my baby was taking its time. I was feeling that I was overstaying my welcome, although they were so OK with it. But you know …. This is their home and we’re still there.
So what did we do all those days? I must admit, it was heaven! Clothes were optional; I wore a bikini bottom and unless on the beach, nothing else. We got up when we felt like it, made love, had breakfast, walked the beach, read, took a nap, had sex, hung out, ate some more, had more sex, went to the ocean, dinner, laughter and bed. It was like this every day. Sometimes we would go into town. I walked down the beach a lot just to get exercise and drink in the ocean air. The waves were beautiful. Lee and Rabbit would surf. The girls would sit on the sand and chat. We laughed at how Rabbit had a knack for walking in on us during our intimate moments. Many times. It was handled nonchalantly. He must have had a sex radar, I swear!
Haley’s comet was coming and we would go out at night to see if we could find it. We thought we did a few times. Being so far from city lights the stars were in the billions! I felt so cosmic under those stars, listening to the waves and knowing this was a special moment; my baby was being born during Haley’s Comet’s closest proximity to earth. Friends of the purple house came every day, sometimes with guitars and other instruments. We shared what we had
We wondered what we could do to make this baby come!!! Well we all know they just come when ready. There was a contra dance in town…. I danced my tail off, moving rapidly on that dance floor as those belly squeezes would happen. That didn’t work either. St Augustine is a beautiful town and we got to do the tourist thing there as well. Had an ice cream in town while we went to the Fort. Walked the streets, took Marianito to the park.
As a midwife student I knew that birth was full of surprises. I had already seen quite a few and knew that I had to remind myself that this birth of my dreams might just not happen the way I wanted. I was of the frame of mind that I could go with the flow, since that is how I lead my life. It keeps me from being too stressed. So with that in mind, we learned the route to the hospital for that just in case. Once done, I was open for any possible outcome. I knew that I was doing all I could do to create this birth experience and if it didn’t go my way, that would be very OK with me. I remember sitting in my van at the parking lot of the hospital. I would plan to stay in my van until the last possible moment if my baby was coming breech. I knew I was not going to have a c-section for a breech. My friends were pretty good with their hands and I trusted my baby was head down. But, I was ready for anything. Once that was out of the way, I could relax and wait for my baby.
One evening I was feeling that tightening that although I had so much of it all the time, knew it was different. It was about 9pm and I mentioned to everyone that it was starting. I called Esther and sometime during the night she showed up. Tina tried to figure out how dilated I was and her fingers could not reach my cervix. We taught Mariano to check and we’re not sure, but he might have felt my os. 3 centimeters he thinks. Remember, we were students, and I thought, what will Tina do if she can’t feel women’s cervices? For some reason, and I cannot remember why, we ended up staying at Annie and Rabbit’s house that night. Maybe Lee’s son was home? Anyway, Mariano and I slept on a convertible sofa in the living room. Marianito was with the other younger kids. Both houses were very quiet that night as everyone slept while I quietly labored.
Mariano slept next to me and with each contraction, I would roll off the side of the bed and stand next to it swaying my hips in circles until it subsided. Then I would go pee. In none of my labors did I pee so much like this one. I did not flush every time, since I only peed a little and the flushing could wake up the others. Annie told me the next day that she felt my presence all night. Women! Then I would roll back into bed and relax. Mariano occasionally would snuggle up to me and put his arm over me, or I would spoon him and put my arm over him. I did this all night. At dawn, Esther came in and we decided to go down to the beach. The air was quite cool, the sky was lit up by the early morning sun and the waves were rolling in.
Remember, I planned a water birth in the ocean. I tested the water and was a bit concerned over the temperature. I greatly dislike cold water. Maybe later it will be warmer. Esther and I walked up and down the beach, stopping occasionally to bend over while I had my contraction. There were fishermen along the shore and I could see their faces as we walked by, with concern, as they watched me. I thought, “don’t worry dudes, I am not going to have him right now”. It was cute. They were definitely watching. The feeling of being on the sand next to the water is one I cannot describe, for my feelings were of perfect union with my universe. I belonged there, waiting for this little one to be born. Each wave reminded me of my own and I would sway to their sound. Closing my eyes, I could feel their strength as they pushed themselves onto the shore and then pulled back, just as my womb would match their length in time. It was amazing!! How in tune I was!
I got hot and pulled off my top. The strength of the contraction was building up. At some point I wanted to go back as I had seen my lover watching us and I wanted to be with him. He was taking some photos of us. I will treasure them forever. The house was stirring as each member woke up. I have no recollection of them watching me, just giving me the space I needed and coming to me when I wanted them. Esther checked me and I was 3 cms and she swept me. Not much, 3 cms, considering I was doing this all night, although I have no idea how far apart any of my contractions were. No need to watch the clock. I just knew they would wake me and I would dance them and go back to sleep. But now I could no longer rest.
I was not hungry but I was thirsty. I drank a lot, which also meant I peed a lot. Very necessary. The kids were up and playing, doing what little kids do. At some point Marianito knew his baby sib was coming so he kept close. What fond memories I have of him following me around and with each contraction he would get behind me to see if the baby was coming out. His dad made him stop although it did not bother me whatsoever. I really do think it was adorable of him. He did not want to miss anything, Later when I asked him what he saw he said the baby’s head looked like a pupusa (I think that was his term for a vulva).
I decided against an ocean birth. Forget that the water was colder than I liked; it was the waves….they were rolling in quite strongly! Although we were attached by an umbilical cord, the idea of my baby and I being in there and falling or losing him or….. ack!! No way! So land birth it is. I have no feeling of loss over it…remember, I flow. No stress. Life is.
I think I did make an indentation in the sand as I circled around and around the house, each time I came to the ocean side I would stare at it, reminding me of our connection. I had bloody show on my thighs. The power of the surges was starting to overwhelm me. Hah, there were lots more to come. Tina offered the shower. I LOVE LOVE water….the shower was amazing. I stood under the stream as it flowed over my shoulders, down my body and out the drain. This became a focus, down down down….. opening up. Flowing,
Mariano got in that small shower stall with me. He was behind me. I leaned forward to have the shower hit my shoulders and upper back which pushed my hips into his. That’s all it took to get him going! Feeling my hips undulating over him got him hot! We kissed and kissed breathing in and out of each others’ mouths. He reached around and caressed me, he squeezed my breasts, he gently bit the back of my neck which makes me push into him harder. I could feel his hardness and it turned..me.. on!!! OMG, it hurts, OMG, it feels good, OMG this is incredible. There was no penetration but definitely a very sexual moment….. it was so intense, that my contractions went bam, bam!!! And my water broke.
Now I was in full pain mode and crying out. We got out and Esther checked me. No recollection how far along I was. No cord there. I went outside. I think I circled the house once and went to the gazebo and held onto the post as I swayed and started moving up and down. Pole dancing, I was!! Haha . But now I needed everybody to help me get through this. My butt hurt, so Mariano gave me counter-pressure. My back hurt, so Lee rubbed it. I was not so happy, so Esther put her arm over my shoulder and moved up and down with me, reminding me how strong I was and that I could do it. OK, so I am a midwife and as midwifes we have certain things we say to women as they despair. Esther says, “Alice, you’re so strong”, and I turned my head, as both of us were moving up and down in union and I looked into her eyes and started laughing, “Uh, Esther, I’ve heard that before”. I rolled my eyes and we both laughed!
I looked at the ocean and was really moving it now. Up, down, up down, growling, I could feel my nostrils flaring, breathing heavy, ahhhhhhhing, ohhhhhhhing…..and then I felt that urge. My baby moved into the canal and putting pressure on me and I have to puuuuuuush!! “The baby is coming” and all I wanted to do was stay there, but I was urged inside. I guess it could have been a little messy with sand sticking to us, but it felt so glorious to be out there. Inside we went and I crawled up onto Tina’s bed. On my hands and knees I was and it felt right. I knew what I needed to do. I was totally intuitive and I just followed my body’s flow. I bared down once, twice and I felt him crowning, With a good roar on my part, he came out. A BOY!!!!! Mariano says, a son! He hugs me. We are ecstatic! Esther and Tina unraveled him from his cord which was wrapped around his neck 3 times. Nobody handed the baby to me, I just reached between my legs and scooped him through and to my front so I could see him.
First thing I did, without any thought was to sweep his palate. Remember the early part of this story? So strange that although not on my mind, I instinctly checked for it. All clear!! Then I leaned over him and licked him. Huh? Where did that come from? I licked his face and his neck and his ears and I put him to my chest. He tasted so good! It was incredible, this little guy right here in my arms, with my lover and friends in this most amazing place. It was pure bliss!
He went to the breast right away. We nursed for a while then Mariano took him while I cleaned up. He went down to the beach with him and at the ocean’s edge he leaned down, put some sea water onto his finger and touched it to his son’s lips. He then told him his name is Salvador. A couple of girls walked by and were “Ohh, he’s so cute, how old is he?” Heh
His birth was witnessed by our friends. My little family of friends that I LOVE so much! By his little or I should say, big brother Marianito, who was just enthralled by him. I stayed in the bed while they all went down to the beach. I have a picture of Esther weighing Salvador while wearing her bathing suit. This is truly the way to birth our babies. Even though I knew this is the best, it was after having 2 hospital births and now a home birth that it really hit me. The birth of my own son cleared the emotional path of my midwifery career. I want all my mamas to have the birth of their dreams.
Salvador M Rodriguez Sanpere, 7 lbs 10 oz. born April 5 1986 at 12:06 pm, at the Purple House on North Vilano Beach, Florida , in the company of daddy, brother Mariano, Tina, Lee, Annie, Rabbit, Esther and her boyfriend, whose name escapes me, Gabe, Crystal and Shannon. And me!
The End
Written at 1am on my son Salvador’s 25th birthday, April 5, 2011. I LOVE YOU CHICHI
