So I went to Governor's Square, just to buy a gift certificate for Kevin, my son-in-law whose birthday is today, and I decided to stroll through a couple of stores. The mall was packed with people taking advantage of post-holiday sales, returning items they either didn't like or which didn't fit them or using the gift certificates they received. So I didn't think I wanted to do much shopping until I went into the NewYork something store and saw some clothes I thought I would like. I grabbed 2 shirts (neither which I bought, because they were not on sale, and I had a hard time justifying my compulsion to "just get them" {gawd!! that was hard}), and like 9 pairs of pants. Size 12 and size 14.
Right now as I write this, I am wearing a size 12 pair of jeans. Unbuttoned. Unzipped.
But when I stand up and button and zip them they fit. So I decided I am a size 12 pants. So on went pair number 1, a nice grey pair.... so tight, but maybe with my stomach sucked in I could get away with it. But the butt.... where did my butt go? Down there? Past my "real" bottom of my bottom? Not buying them. Number 2, in black, maybe it will disimulate the saggy bottom. No, not really.... shit, I can even see the cellulite through the material! . One after the other in size 12, with the same results.... too something! OK, I will try the 14s. I only grabbed 2 different 14s, convinced that wasn't my size, but you never know, maybe I should check. Just in case. . Yes, too loose. Where did my butt go this time? I cannot make the outline of it since they are so loose! It makes it look like I don't even have a butt. From my waist to my heels my body is on a straight line. No curves, no figure, no butt. Like a box. Shit! Now what?
The store does not carry size 13. Does any store carry size 13? I folded the ones that were on little piles on the tables, I hung those that were on hangers, and looked at them. Sadly. And thought, "I don't have a size". Ahh!! But I can lose some weight....heavens knows I don't plan on gaining any...so I will buy one anyway. A nice little gray striped one.
I justified my compulsion.
